I had been at it for an hour at least, but it was slow going paddling a broken mast. I had a goal, however, for before me, another forty yards, the wa...er changed color, a wide strip of brilliant greenish-blue. It was a current. I was sure of it."Be quiet, Telemachus. Pray to the gods to save you, for I won't."I kept paddling. The sun beat down on me draining me. My thirst grew, but I kept paddling. Telemachus began to sing, a silly song one might sing to a child.I paddled. I drew close. A few. "I've got something for you," giggled the woman, who had a strangely similar voice and accent as my mother."You know I don't wear condoms," laughed Nigel."It is not condoms you silly willy," laughed the woman.Silly willy!? That's what mom called me when I was being silly. And just then the woman looked up into the camera.MOM!FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.Nigel was going to FUCK MY MOM!With mom looking into the camera, I paused the video instinctively. There was strange kind of sensation going through. Then, five agonizing days after they started, the headaches went away. I woke up one morning and felt great. The doctor gave me some shit about how the body heals itself blah-blah-blah and all I could think was, "then why am I paying you if I've done all the work?"Well, my beautiful bike was trashed. The guy's insurance was gonna pay to have it repaired, but it was still heartbreaking to see it in such a mess. I guess I was riding the bus for a while."Hey guys, I'm sorry, but we've really got. .. yah. Byesie bye.” Her frightfully posh, strangulated vowel speech resonated round the spacious two storey hall as we completed our route up – more portraits, some landscapes, now and then some group family paintings. I stopped at one which was sort of tucked away, close to a Greek urn on a plinth. It was a military portrait of a woman and I thought I saw a suggestion of likeness to my escort. “Yah, it’s me.” she chuckled. “Dreadful thing but Daddy had it done, like his in the drawing room.
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